What Elements of Emotional Intelligence Are Linked to Happiness?


Emotional intelligence is scientifically proven to increase both success as well as happiness and well-being. Our IQ (intelligence quotient), can not be changed. We are born with it. Our EQ can be cultivated and improved. We do this through personal development tools such as NLP and positive interventions from the world of positive psychology,.

The elements of emotional intelligence are:

  • Self-regard
  • Self-actualization
  • Emotional self-awareness
  • Emotional expression
  • Assertiveness
  • Independence
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Empathy
  • Social Responsibility
  • Problem-solving
  • Reality testing
  • Flexibility
  • Stress tolerance
  • Optimism
  • Impulse control

And 4 of these elements directly identified to be the most powerful contributors to happiness and well being:
1. Optimism
2. Self-actualization
3. Self-regard
4. Interpersonal relationships


Optimism is your ability to have a positive outlook in the future. To look at the world as an inviting place.

Positive psychologists have defined optimism as people who look at a set-aback as a temporary problem and that it only relates to one area of your life, not all areas of your life. It isn’t about a blame game, but looking for what you can control rather than what you can not.

It is also scientifically proven possible to cultivate optimism.


Self-Actualization is your ability to set meaningful goals and achieve them. This means you are better off to set goals that make you happy. Goals that make us happy are intrinsic; they are fulfilling. It has been scientifically proven that extrinsic goals do not make us happy, goals about fame, money, and beauty.

I would say that the best goals we can set are the ones that increase our positive emotions, give us flow (like achieving mastery), improve our relationships, give us meaning and purpose.

A good place to start is knowing how to goal set. We teach three different ways of goal setting in our training. Ones that work (SMARTING goals does not work.)


Self-regard us your ability to see yourself in a positive light, regardless of your strengths and weaknesses. Sadly, the most common confession I get from my clients and students is about feelings of inadequacy. I have trained even in people we adore and admire for their award-winning achievements – yet they report not feeling good enough. Or that they are unloveable.

It is essential to put yourself in the space of personal development and personal evolution. And get to work on this. Consider if therapy is a good idea or taking a training. One way of achieving this is NLP training. We work with self-esteem issues inside our NLP Master Practitioner training, which we combine with emotional intelligence training.

Interpersonal Relationships

An interesting ted talk on the topic.

What specifically will you do to increase your emotional intelligence, happiness, and well-being?