Spotting negative thoughts (or self-talk) can be done very easily by combining several NLP techniques or concepts.
- Observing negative thoughts and self-talk using NLP Eye Accessing:
The eyes of the person go down and to YOUR right (their left).
The eyes move down into this direction because that part of the brain needs to be accessed, as that is the part where self-talk lives.
There is a possibility that the persons eyes then go down and to YOUR left (their right). This is when they access that part of the brain where emotions live. Since this is about negative self-talk, it often comes paired with the person then experiencing negative feelings as a result of this negative self-talk.
- Pay attention to three things:
- If you see their body, or their facial expression, change to some sort of negative feeling.
- Their voice may shift to a negative inflection.
- The content of their words indicates something negative for example: “I can’t do that,” “I think it’s bad.”
At this moment in time you can say with a high level of certainty that someone is talking negatively about themselves.
You won’t know for certain what someone is saying to themselves.
- Prevent yourself from:
- Assuming that you know what they are saying to themselves.
- Assuming that it is automatically about you (says more about how you think about yourself and your own negative thoughts).
- Being judgmental (often people don’t know any different).
There may be a chance to ask someone what they are thinking if the context allows for it. But be careful, as when someone starts talking about this they can easily spiral down in intensifying their own negativity, experiencing it as they are talking about it.
The moment that you go along with someone’s negative thoughts, you yourself are taken down into a spiral with them.
Next week on this blog:
10 Easy Tips to Get Someone Off the Train of Negative Thoughts Using NLP