NLP: Are You Using the Right Standards for Yourself?


In NLP Metapgrograms there are two types of references: Internal Reference and External Reference. Understanding what you are or someone else is, gives you a fairly good predictability as to how they will respond most of the time. A level of transparency in where their strengths, challenges and blind-spots are.

Step 1: Determine Internal or External Reference NLP Meta Program

Externally referenced person: uses standards of others determining if they have done a good job, and also often in decision making, attaching value, right from wrong.

Internally referenced person: uses their own standards.

You can also be a mix for example:
Externally referenced but doing an internal check.
Internally referenced but doing an external check.

Step 2: Are There Other Patterns in Their Standards?

Though not officially part of NLP, I have noticed that some people are a certain percentage a combination of externally or internally referenced. Or context dependent. For instance one type of reference at home, and one at work. One type of reference where it comes to their challenges, but another where it comes to their strengths. One when they feel good, one when they don’t. One in a certain topic, but not in another. One where it comes to their past, another where it comes to the future. A different standard when a certain person is around.

Step 3: What Are The Standards Being Used? Are They Correct?

You want to know what standards are being used? Are they correct? Up-to-date? Based on the right information, assumptions, map of reality?

Step 4: Who is the Reference? Who Sets the Standards?

Whether you or someone else is the reference is there expertise on the subject? Is your best interest kept in mind?

Step 5: What about Emotions?

Emotions affect the way we think, assess, and what standards we use. You want to keep into account what emotions are at play of both the person setting the standards as well as using the standards.

There are many ways in which you can add additional steps. That’s the brilliance of NLP meta programs, especially combining them together gives you a true edge in self awareness and awareness of others.

Recommended reading for NLP Metaprograms:

Words that Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence
Shelle Rose Charvet

If you have interest in learning the NLP Meta Programs, and what standards to use please visit our website at: