How to be more patient with your kids is a topic many parents work on during NLP Training. Fully grown, usually calm adults who allow their buttons to be pressed and release all control to their offspring.
I am not a parent, so I do not often write articles about kids or parenting unless my students or trainers help me. I was tickled when one of my online students, Deepa from India, decided to model a co-worker who was extremely patient with her kids. That’s the cool thing about NLP; it is about studying people who are that dot above the median line. And once we have studied them, we can turn them into a technique. I took Deepa’s findings and turned them into a straightforward technique.
You could look at being impatient as a habit, an auto-pilot behavior that switches on when a particular situation occurs. An unconscious behavior, that took years for us to master. Perhaps we learned it from our parents; perhaps we never knew any other coping strategies. Any time a person wants to learn a new behavior, they initially fight against the old habit we unconsciously master. And when we wish to master something new, we first have to become conscious; we need to put some effort and elbow grease in, be a little clumsy at first, perhaps even fail. Each failure gives us feedback, and through repetition, we can eventually master something new.
The technique below that will help you to become more patient with your kids can be practiced in 3 ways:
- Preparing for a real-life event.
- During a real-life event.
- Re-coding a past event.
Technique to become more patient with your kids using NLP
Step 1: Well-Formed Outcome
The outcome we want is to become more patient with our kids using NLP. But in this case, we need to dig for something a little bigger and more profound. Please consider that the benefit of mastering this will allow you to educate your kids to become well-behaved and responsible in life. Kids follow your example when you want them to, and when you don’t want them to.
Other outcomes could be the presupposition that kids:
They are human beings and need to be treated as such.
A parent is a guardian to a child.
Every child is different and has special qualities.
Step 2: Evaluate
Step out of your own emotion, take a deep breath. Imagine yourself and the child, like a neutral observer, a scientist who studies behavior and facial expression. This allows for any negative emotion you feel to reduce and will let you calm yourself.
For students who have taken NLP training, this is association or the 3rd perceptual position of NLP.
Is the child experiencing positive emotions, a good mood?
Is the child in a place where they can be receptive?
If these conditions aren’t present, then do not proceed and wait until a later time.
Step 3: Communicate
Communicate (or educate) in a gentle, soft, but direct way. Avoid using angry, judgemental, and accusatory words. Remember, you are educating here to reach the outcome you set for yourself.
To learn more about my student Deepa, visit: Power Within
Remember this is only one NLP Technique. There are many different techniques and solutions to become more patient with your kids.