Have you ever noticed that we set rules for ourselves that do not apply to everyone else? Perhaps a parent instilled them, we respond to a series of feedback from failure, or perhaps simply we are living true to our own values.
Sometimes we set rules for ourselves that harm us, suck an enormous amount of time, cause stress, or prevent us from being happy.
Here are a few simple questions you can ask yourself about the validity and benefits of your rules.
1. Who specifically determined the rule? You or someone else, such as a parent? Where does the rule come from?
2. What values and beliefs do you have that support the validity of the rule?
3. How much time, money, and effort does your rule require?
4. How specifically does your rule impact you positively?
5. Is it worth doing what it takes to live according to this rule?
6. How specifically does your rule impact you negatively?
7. Is it worth doing what it takes to live according to this rule considering the negative impact?
8. What specifically would happen if you broke your rule?
9. How does your rule impact others?
10. How does your rule impact your own happiness, well-being, or even your purpose?
11. Do other people have the same rule? Who?
12. How specifically is the rule working for them?
13. What would happen if you changed your rule?
14. Would another rule be better?
15. Or would it be good to get rid of this rule altogether?
Now that you have answered a few questions about your rules, why don’t you spend some time reflecting about your answers, or set a goal using the NLP well formed outcomes process.
Do you have more NLP questions?