This NLP technique for setting boundaries was designed by our Amsterdam NLP Master Practitioner class in October 2018. During our Master Practitioner we teach two sets of designs: one based on NLP Practitioner level tools, and another on NLP timeline-based coaching paired with Mater Practitioner tools. This technique for setting boundaries is part of the latter, and would only make sense to a well-trained Master Practitioner with a quality training school typically offering small immersion classes. Without it, the content below will most certainly not be understood.
This is an eyes closed technique, sitting down.
Part 1: NLP Parts Integration
- Determine the positive intent behind both sides of the boundary choices. For example, part of me wants to say yes, the other part of me wants to say no.
- Chunk-up part/side 1 into the core state.
- Chunk-up part/side 2 into the core state.
- Integrate both parts (as is done in a parts integration)
Part 2: NLP Core Change Work
- Enjoy the core state.
- Determine the age of this part of the client that struggles to set a boundary.
- Take the core state back to the age, give the younger self the resources required. Use the Milton model and gestalt it on a timeline with the younger self.
- Grow up the part to the present time, with the core state present (associated, changing all the experiences in the past timeline).
Part 3: NLP Meta Model
As the client has his or her eyes closed, they are not to answer these questions to the NLP coach, but to simply consider it in their mind (while they are still in the core state).
- What, specifically, is your boundary?
- How, specifically, will setting this boundary impact all areas of your life: Significant other, family and friends, health, physical environment, finance, career, personal development and spirituality, fun and recreation.
- How, specifically, will this boundary impact your well-being: positive emotion, engagement and flow, relationships, meaning and purpose, and achievement.
- How, specifically, can this boundary best be communicated as soon as possible?
- What would happen if you didn’t communicate this boundary now?
Part 4: Dropping Negative Emotion in the Future (Similar to the Anxiety Pattern)
- Travel in the core state, to dissociated near the end of life, looking back at the self from the present to this time having led the rest of their life setting boundaries timely, and appropriately. Drop any emotion attached.
Part 5: Future Pace
- Travel back to a time in the future closer to the present, now setting these boundaries in a more adequate matter.
Part 6: Post-talk
- The client, on a daily basis, briefly thinks about the meta model questions under 9-13 for the next 30 days.
- Client and coach should determine a time frame where the client will, on a regular basis, reflect on the life wheel and the different areas of well-being (recommended every 4-6 weeks).
Any NLP Master Practitioner coach using this pattern on a client should continuously bring up the boundary setting, how to set boundaries, and the impact of a lack of boundary setting. Other NLP techniques can be used to support the process of becoming unconsciously competent in setting boundaries.