This article is a transcription of the following video from our YouTube channel:
So I’ve made some mistakes in teaching NLP or life coaching training. Often times in a training room or in a coaching situation or even when I’m meeting up with a friend or a family member or whatever context we’re speaking of, I would be doing something before I met this person. Sometimes I would be running around, I would maybe be a little late or something like that, or my thoughts would be preoccupied with something else.
I find if I walk into a certain context, or meeting, or training, that using whatever emotions that I come into the room with (because I tend to build rapport with other people) I can actually steer the entire communication, the entire conversation, into that particular direction. They start following me. Or if they are in a shitty mood, I may start to follow them, for instance.
So, what do I do to prepare? Before I meet up with someone in whatever context it is, what I do is I stop, sometimes with my hand on the doorknob or sometimes I even hide in bathrooms, or I stand for a split second at my bicycle before I walk into a building. I stop, I take a deep breath, and I think about what resource I want to have, how do I want to feel.
Sometimes taking a deep breath just balances me out and that’s exactly what I need, just a little bit of grounding, and sometimes I need to step into a spot of curiosity. I stop and I think about how I can make myself curious. Sometimes I step into a place in the past where I was really curious, sometimes it’s just a decision. Or, I can step into a place of calmness, or excitement, or whatever it is I want to be, but I stop, I switch my emotional state, and then I walk into the context. I have found that the entire thing that I’m doing after, my communication with that other human being, becomes a much better exchange.