NLP: How Does Bad Behavior Work?


This article is a transcript of the following video:

I was thinking the other day about positive intentions. A lot of times we can get angry at our own behavior or that of other people, and of course an imporant step is forgiveness, but I think another important piece is understanding. Instead of getting angry at somebody’s behavior, another option that you could choose is finding out what the positive intention is motivating that behavior as the presupposition of NLP says.

For instance, someone who wants to overeat on a lot of bad foods, what they’re maybe really after is feeling loved, or maybe they’re battling stress or fatigue or something like that. Someone who’s very dominating and unkind to other people may really be after something like control, or maybe they have some other motivation of protection or security or something like that. So, every behavior, including bad behavior, has a positive intention.

In order to start resolving your own poor behavior or finding forgiveness for someone else is really thinking about how I can meet that positive intention in some other way than beating myself or the other person up over it. When you meet that positive intention, the chances are much more likely that you’ll be able to solve that problem, or if somebody else is bugging you, to actually meet it in light.