Just as easily could I have called this article “Follow-up in coaching”, but I find this particularly true in NLP based coaching. Simply, because NLP particularly seems to launch a coach to a level where they can go beyond merely a basic surface layer of coaching. Not only can you work with the more complicated layers of personal and emotional change, it can also can be done so quickly while using the right motivational language. Over the years, I have seen clients of other NLP Master Practitioners and NLP Trainers to provide the personal change, sometimes clean-up of damage done, or to simply re-train in skills that should have been learned and mastered. Also as an NLP Master Practitioner, you often get clients that have been everywhere else psychologists, psychotherapists, and healers of various modalities. I even had a student once, who was taken into the mountains in South-America, to drink out of monkey skull. You may laugh, but I am pretty sure that in most cases the client did not inform the change worker that the change didn’t happen. In fact, may have even claimed there was change upon leaving the office. This means that around the world there are NLP Master Practitioners and NLP Trainers with the best of intentions thinking that they are doing a phenomenal job offering personal change and coaching. While in fact, they aren’t having the results they think they are. Which means there is no opportunity for improvement. And people will continue to drink out of monkey skulls as a form of healing.
The second question I then ask, was any follow-up ever done? Are you still in touch with the Practitioner? Do you still have access, through for instance Facebook? It turns out that there wasn’t.
Some coaches may fear the follow-up, either because they are afraid to hear bad news, or it seems almost like a cold call as if you are trying to sell more sessions. The coach may fear evaluation, which is not surprising as in our years of schooling we are more used to only get detailed feedback on what we have done wrong instead of what we have done right. It is important to remember that our journey as an NLP Practitioner, is to improve. And that there is no failure, only feedback. When you think about it, your work has already happened, in that sense there is nothing you can improve about that session in the past. You can however, improve that session of the future. This means, you need the feedback!
Now the problem is, clients are often afraid to critique, they want to please the coach. I think this partially relates to the NLP Coach being especially trained to build rapport. Often clients think they are the problem, because the coach seems to have so many results with everyone else.
There is an opportunity here to ask for feedback as a coach in a way that you actually do get feedback, and the client doesn’t have to give to have a fierce critique either. Though I am not an advocate of form based coaching as often taught in non-NLP based coaching courses, I do believe there are a few forms that can be useful to aid the process. The best thing is to create a follow-up form that allows for specific feedback for improvement, allowing you to make changes in future sessions. And asking feedback for those things they have noticed you have done really right, so you can keep bringing this into your coaching sessions. And meanwhile, staying away from the client having to say if your change work was successful or not in the long term.
1. Are there 3 things I should do less off?
2. Are there 3 things I should do more off?
For my own coaching practice, I have a form that allows for this type of follow-up and I find it an extremely useful tool to use and learn from. Sometimes insights are quite surprising, for instance a client once commented that my stomach was making too many noises. I realized, that making sure I wouldn’t go hungry is as important as going to the restroom before a session. Early in my career I was told that in eyes closed processes, it would be better if I simply allowed for more time of silence while I thought I was already giving enough.
Several of the forms that I use will be released later this year, I spent this summer cleaning some of them up and had a template designed by a graphic designer. If you wish to stay up-to-date of the release please subscribe to our newsletter. Or visit our product page at: http://www.globalnlptraining.com/products