I was surprised to read a study the other day that 75% of the people who wish to leave their job provide their boss as the main reason. Many leaders fail to educate themselves on how to be the better boss, the kind of boss people are motivated by, dedicated to, and still respect. NLP is really one of the ideal tools to achieve this.
It is interesting how many management or leadership books have been written over the years, though leadership is complex and comes from experience. I think an understanding of human evolution and how we simply would like to feel happy at work, and who we work for, is severely underrated in these books. In essence, we are covering the “management of the shark” topic over and over again. Decades ago this was the suggested leadership style, where the strongest will survive, and the biggest shark prevails. In reaction to that, “management of the dolphin” was suggested, which is based on intellect and emotional intelligence.
In this week’s article on the Global NLP training blog, here are some practical tips.
Tip 1: Using NLP Perceptual Positions
Most people are stuck in the 1st perceptual position (viewpoint) where in essence it is about your needs, goals, desires, thoughts, and emotions. In communication, being stuck in this position is not the best place to be. It is best to be flexible between the different viewpoints.
5ᵗʰ: Source, higher self, purpose, meaning, god view
During a quality NLP training, students are used to being able to freely navigate both others through these positions, and themselves.
Tip 2: Mentor or Boss?
In relation to the perceptual positions, you may want to reflect. Do you think most people wish to have a boss for them to be the most productive they can be? Or someone who has a different responsibility than they do, play on the same team as they do, and are considered a mentor? To shift your employees to start thinking of you as a mentor or a person with different responsibilities may be challenging. In Global NLP Training, the people I work with refer to me as their “boss” when they talk to others, but at work I am more of an adviser, with the responsibility to make individual decisions, and the person with the helicopter view over all areas of the business and most knowledge about NLP and designing NLP Training. I consider those who work together with me the boss over their area. I am not an expert over their job, they are. I support them in their role, and they support me in mine.
Tip 3: Rapport
Typically taught early on in an NLP training, for a good reason. As the most effective communication requires rapport, and understanding of trust, a connection. Spend some time getting to know the (new) employee, find out more about their map of the world. And before you storm into an office handing out assignments, you may want to build a little rapport first.
During a quality NLP training, students are taught how to match, mirror, and cross-over mirror in different ways to gain rapport. As well as working with psycho-geography and use of words.
Tip 4: Negative vs Positive Words
Sadly, the holy grail that was once discovered by the scientists, where for every 1 negative communication there should be 2.9 positive communications, has been debunked in terms of the validity of the mathematics. However, though the exact math may be off, it has scientifically been proven that for communication to be motivational, to be collaborative, and for a leader or a company to be supported they must be a lot more positive than negative.
In NLP training we teach our students the Milton Model, which allows for high proficiency in using positive words in communication, in facilitating a process by which the unconscious mind wishes to collaborate.
Tip 5: Positive Words Using NLP
Here we give additional NLP Milton model suggestions based on the above. Consider using positive words, of which the actor is unknown, and how it is done. In linguistics you call these nominalizations, a verb turned into a noun. In essence, you cannot see, hear, and feel these words, but we know we all want them.
Next week on the Global NLP Training Blog, Part 2 of this article.
Check out part 2 here.