10 Simple Tips to Be a Better Boss Using NLP – Part 2

Last week’s article covered the first 5 tips out of this series:
10 Simple Tips to Be a More Effective Leader Using NLP – Part 1

Tip 6: Eliciting Emotional States

In reality, communication is more straightforward than you think.

1. You verbally and non-verbally communicate
2. Someone else experiences an emotion because of your communication
3. They verbally and non-verbally communicate
4. You experience an emotion because of their communication
5. Etc.

The understanding that your verbal and non-verbal elicits an emotional state is one you can utilize in the awareness that you put them in a positive emotional state. During NLP training we teach various ways to intentionally create emotional states, and anchor them so you can more easily place someone back into a heightened emotional state you previously put a person in.

Tip 7: 4-Tupling & Storytelling

To lead effectively, you must be a great storyteller. To be able to light up someone’s brain so they can experience what it sounds, feels, looks, smells, and tastes like that isn’t there (yet). For instance, what it would be like to reach a goal, what a successfully created product or service is, to be motivated when you are not, etc.

How do you tell a story effectively using NLP? You do this by 4-tupling, meaning you create a full sensory-based experience. Describing what something looks like, sounds like, feels, smells, and tastes like. Using visual auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory predicates or words.

Examples:

Tip 8: Association & Dissociation

This is closely tied to the above explanation of 4-tupling and storytelling.

Association: Someone experiences something looking through their own eyes. They can see, hear, and feel the experience.

Dissociation: Someone experiences something as an observer, in a logical way, without emotion.

This understanding allows you to help your team to associate into a can-do attitude, reaching a goal, a positive experience, and dissociate from a negative experience or to something that needs to be non-emotionally evaluated.

During NLP training the art of association through language is covered in great detail to do this more effectively. Dissociation is also taught, even to find a resolution for fears and phobias.

Tip 9: Positive Intent

If you presuppose there is a positive intent motivating every behavior, it can give you an excellent idea of how your staff operates effectively. And when they ineffectively do so behaviorally, you can explore this in a positive way.

It is about finding a positive meaning behind any behavior, both positive and negative. And based on this knowledge knowing how to work with negative behavior, even conflict, to find out what they are unconsciously after. And to fulfill their positive intent in some way, so they don’t have to keep behaving negatively, or to resolve a conflict.

Examples:

During NLP Master Practitioner training, various ways are taught how to effectively ask questions to find the positive intent.

Tip 10: Making the Unconscious Conscious

Often times in communication we are more vague or ambiguous than we think.

1. We assume that the other person understands what we are talking about and gives the words we use the same meaning (which they more often than not, don’t).
2. We assume to understand what the other person is expressing to us.

For example:

1. “You need to be on time?”
2. “You need to communicate effectively.”
3. “We must strive for excellence and success.”
4. “Leadership is key, and the obstacles need to be removed for us to reach our vision and missions.”

Asking questions in a way that you can make the unconscious conscious.

For example:

1. Who specifically?
2. What specifically?
3. How specifically?

And when you can explain something you need to pull your communications into specifics so the listener can understand what you want or wish to communicate.

During NLP training for Practitioner, we teach a whole set of questions to do this called the meta model. During the Master Practitioner NLP training, we learn how to figure out what someone’s deep underlying values are, and how their brain filters information.