Coaches & change workers ask me questions about self-care all the time. They always know “how” to self-care, they just don’t have the available time to do so, and other people become a drain.
- Are you exhausted at the end of Coach & NLP training coaching day doing and teaching so many life-changing NLP techniques?
- Is stepping into someone else’s shoes during coaching exhaust you?
- How many clients can you per day coach without burning out?
- Marketing, coaching, teaching, how do you do it all?
- Taking care of friends, my kids, and my coaching clients, is that too much?
These are all valid questions, and as coaches, we need to remain awake and conscious behind the wheel of our car. We say it all the time to our clients, “you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first”, but do we take a taste of our own medicine?
I could call the below self-care tips, or time-saving tips caring for others. Because we know what to do as coaches, we just aren’t doing it.
Self-Care Tip 1: Tighten Your Availability
I used to have a limiting belief in my personal and professional life that I must show up for others any time someone needs me. It is a disease many coaches and change workers suffer from. I also used to believe that my calendar for coaching required to have a lot of availability.
I started to experiment by first telling my clients that seven times a year, I would not be coaching at all for 2 weeks when I am in the NLP training. I was sure I would lose clients. I didn’t. Then I extended it to 3 weeks, and times even 4. I did not lose a single client. I am not saying that you should do this unless you have multiple streams of income and an excellent reputation. I am saying it can be shocking how a client goes, “OK, no problem.”
I also would make myself available three evenings a week when I was in Europe for my US customers. I reduced to this to only 1. I do have one calendar for my US clients giving them availability in the afternoon hours and the one evening I coach. And I open up another calendar for my European clients. I do coach during the morning time on weekends often, as I take my two days a week off whenever I feel like it. I am not bound to Saturday and Sunday.
My clients see my lack of availability as a calendar limitation that coaches with my reputation all have. The scarcity of my time created more demand.
Be willing to experiment; that’s all I am saying. It was life-changing for me personally and professionally.
Self-Care Tip 2: No Freebies
I don’t do freebies that take more than 2 minutes. And got into the habit of posting links to this blog and our youtube channel as answers. I also turn their questions into blog posts and videos that I then share with the world. In fact, this post is an answer to a question of a former NLP training student.
Self-Care Tip 3: Where in my Circle Are You?
I ask myself questions like:
- What specifically was my relationship with you in the past?
- What specifically is my relationship with you right now?
- What is the potential of my relationship with you in the future?
- How do you make me feel?
- Would you show up for me if I needed you?
- Would you hide me in your attic if I was a jew during the second world war?
- Can I call this person for help in the middle of the night?
- And would they help me hide the dead body in the middle of the night?
- Can you help yourself?
- Am I enabling you?
- Should I be teaching independence?
This determines if I am willing to help for 2 minutes, 5 minutes, less than 15 minutes or more. I consider what the impact is on my well-being and the ecology of my life.
For the people who took an NLP training, use meta-model questions. It will help make the unconscious conscious.
Self-Care Tip 4: Staying Conscious of your Well-Being
Scientifically, the ingredients of well-being are:
P = Positive Emotions
E = Engagement & Flow
R = Relationships
M = Meaning & Purpose
A = Achievement & accomplishments.
I sit down with these concepts, measuring my level of satisfaction on a scale of 1-10. I think of quick wins, decisions, short-term impact, long term impact.
Self-Care Tip 5: The Life Wheel
The areas of our life are:
Personal development and spirituality
Friends and family
Fun & recreation
Physical & mental health
I sit down with these concepts, measuring my level of satisfaction on a scale of 1-10.
Yes, you use the most frequently used tool among coaches for yourself.
Next week part 2: 10 Self-Care Tips for Coaches & Change Workers – Part 2