How do you deal with criticism? Ever noticed how some people are able to take criticism much better then others? Are you one of those people whom goes “off the deep end”, or wish you would have said “THAT!”. You want to be the true criticism master? Have a Teflon shield everything criticism will bounce off on? NLP offers a strategy which is modelled after what people internally who deal exceptionally well with criticism.

You need to train your brain, to use a different software program where it comes to dealing with criticism, and this is how you do it…

Steps to dealing with with criticism:

Step 1: Imagine you are looking at a black and white version of yourself at a comfortable distance,  for instance across the room you are in now. But you are not looking at an ordinary version of yourself, but yourself able to respond well to criticism.

Step 2: Do you have a compelling picture in your mind? Is that version of yourself ready to be criticized? OK, now imagine that other you receiving a critique. But this other you disassiocates from experiencing the criticism. For instance your other you just sees the critique in a cartoon balloon, or your other you immediately pulls up a plexi glass shield as the words are being said to the other you. Whatever magic shield works for your other you.

Step 3: Now watch your other you, make a movie of the content of the criticism. Asking him or herself: “What is this person telling me? What does it mean?” Can your other you make a detailed movie? If not he/she may need to gather more information. The movie needs to be detailed. If the other you has made a detailed movie, move on to step 4.

Step 4:  Now do the movies of step 2 and the movies of step 3 match? Or mismatch? Does the content of the movie, match the text in the cartoon balloon etc.  Now that your other you has dissociated from the experience, and the content, do the movies match? If they do, then move on to step 5. If they do not match, go back and gather more information. You need to get to the bottom why step 2 and 3 do not match, there has to be more information you need.

Step 5: Decide on adequate constructive reponse to the criticism. ”I’m sorry”, “thank you, I will give it some more thought”,  or”what I meant was X.” Etc.

 Step 6: Do you think the way the other you has dealt with and responded to the criticism is better then your old response? Then use this type of response in the future. Now, imagine a situation in the future when you receive criticism. Imagine yourself, really as you, not you looking at yourself, in the future. See what you would see, hear what you would hear, and feel what you would feel. And responding in this new way.

You can use this process and response automatically if you use it (and practice it.) Your brain will learn how to run another program. Instead of hearing critique, feeling wounded, and as a result respond in a non-constructive way. Your brain needs to disassociate, and understand why the critique is given, or what the intention to the critique is. Whatever it is, you can respond appropriate to the situation.

Good luck, use these steps well, and you will learn how to deal with criticism more effectively.

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